So I've been thinking about how I write.
Jun. 28th, 2009 05:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mephestophelesThis is going to be rambly, and slightly off, but I have a destination.
I think.
So I've been thinking about how I write, the process, the stress and the crap I put myself through, the whole nine yards. At first I was just thinking about how I can't seem to write a fic out of sequence. The beginning middle and end seem to come to me in succession, and I personally hate jumping out of order. If I have an idea for a part that comes up later I tend to file it away in the 'to be written section' of my mind. If it gets written down at all it's little more than a line, just the essence of the idea, nothing more.
I have this ridiculous fear that if I over think future scenes I'll finish the story in my head and then I won't want to write it down. I know, I know this is silly, but I've yet to really finish anything with any meat to it. Short fiction I'm great with, 2-3K even up to 10k I'm good, I can write it and it's done. I've never finished anything bigger.
As a side note I also have this absolute fear of failure that I'm trying to overcome, which is why larger pieces terrify me.
Oddly enough this doesn't stop me to loving the idea of writing or wanting to write. I absolutely love writing. Haven't done it for a year and then some, and I love it now more than ever.
What I love most about writing, is research. I will admit here and now I'm a piler. I hate lists, though I love the idea of lists. I have them but they're scattered admist piles of other stuff. I have seven files for one piece of fiction on this computer. I have piles of papers for my nursing class taking over my closet. I have books upon books, separated by paperback, roleplaying, big, little, won't fit anywhere else. My movies are the only thing organized by title. My craft drawers are organized by what fits where, paper on top, jewelry in the middle, everything else in the bottom.
See I have systems, no one understands my systems, but I do have systems.
So when I research something for writing, I get a little batty. I'll have bookmarks, then delicous bookmarks, then I have stumbles, then I'll have notes scattered throughout notepad and word. Which is why I fucking love One Note. OMG, the program is a piler's wet dream. It keeps everything in one place, but you don have to have a specific order to anything. You can add mutlimedia to notes, you can throw things wherever you feel they have to go, and yet it's all self contained.
Second to being a piler, I'm also a builder. I love creating worlds. I started creating Aruinnbith five years ago. Started small, I didn't want to create a world I just wanted my own species. Started with elves, specialized on the clerics. So I had to create the gods, and then it just snowballed. Now I have ten sentient species, one language with a smattering of words for two others, history, mythology, characters, flora and fauna, etc.
PLUS!!
I'm anal retentive. So when I get on a subject I have to figure it out right down to the last detail. Hence why I figured out that my planet has 4.4 earth years to one Ariunnbith year. (Time is measured in eights, 80 seconds in a minute, 80 minutes in an hour, 40 hours in a day, 8 days in a week, 8 weeks in a cycle, 8 cycles in a year).
See, anal.
So when I started this crack fic (it still has no name and will remain nameless until I'm almost finished the fucker) I didn't really think it was going to be all that big. I've been having the idea for years. One of my rp characters get crossed over with SPN, and boom goes the dynamite.
Shamless playing at my expense, especially in the beginning of the fandom. And then Castiel came along and the whole world squeed and I rejoiced and started playing.
In essence one night I was bored out of my mind, my writing buddy wasn't on (hadn't been on in months but. . . moving on) and I wanted to rewrite a fic we'd written, but from a different perspective.
So I dicked around with the first post, added Sam, Dean and Cas, and went from there. And it turned out... nice.
And then it took on a life of it's own. I didn't start an outline until I had what was in my head written. It's only now that I have an outline to go off from, and the only reason that made it into a list is because![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
taufu wanted to see it. Even then, there are sections where it says, 'plot goes here' 'some porn here' "more plot should go here" and so on. Just because I hate plotting every moment.
Right now I'm working on part two of the crack fic. I've started a new file, my goal is once again, 10k for this part. I'm also setting up a One note for it. I have character pages which are going to include bio and characterization information, odd thoughts, and music that's inspired by the characters. I have mythology pages for the angels and the demons, Kripke's and a broken verson ofrailen's, just adjusted slightly to fit with Kripke's. Then there's going to be my mythology for Aruinnbith and God, and plot ideas.
Basically it's either going to be epically awesome, or one gigantic time waster. Thankfully, I have started the next part. I've got 457 words written in it (it's been so fucking hot today it's not fit, I'm amazed I got that written). So, if nothing else my brain seems to know what priorites to listen to.
I think.
So I've been thinking about how I write, the process, the stress and the crap I put myself through, the whole nine yards. At first I was just thinking about how I can't seem to write a fic out of sequence. The beginning middle and end seem to come to me in succession, and I personally hate jumping out of order. If I have an idea for a part that comes up later I tend to file it away in the 'to be written section' of my mind. If it gets written down at all it's little more than a line, just the essence of the idea, nothing more.
I have this ridiculous fear that if I over think future scenes I'll finish the story in my head and then I won't want to write it down. I know, I know this is silly, but I've yet to really finish anything with any meat to it. Short fiction I'm great with, 2-3K even up to 10k I'm good, I can write it and it's done. I've never finished anything bigger.
As a side note I also have this absolute fear of failure that I'm trying to overcome, which is why larger pieces terrify me.
Oddly enough this doesn't stop me to loving the idea of writing or wanting to write. I absolutely love writing. Haven't done it for a year and then some, and I love it now more than ever.
What I love most about writing, is research. I will admit here and now I'm a piler. I hate lists, though I love the idea of lists. I have them but they're scattered admist piles of other stuff. I have seven files for one piece of fiction on this computer. I have piles of papers for my nursing class taking over my closet. I have books upon books, separated by paperback, roleplaying, big, little, won't fit anywhere else. My movies are the only thing organized by title. My craft drawers are organized by what fits where, paper on top, jewelry in the middle, everything else in the bottom.
See I have systems, no one understands my systems, but I do have systems.
So when I research something for writing, I get a little batty. I'll have bookmarks, then delicous bookmarks, then I have stumbles, then I'll have notes scattered throughout notepad and word. Which is why I fucking love One Note. OMG, the program is a piler's wet dream. It keeps everything in one place, but you don have to have a specific order to anything. You can add mutlimedia to notes, you can throw things wherever you feel they have to go, and yet it's all self contained.
Second to being a piler, I'm also a builder. I love creating worlds. I started creating Aruinnbith five years ago. Started small, I didn't want to create a world I just wanted my own species. Started with elves, specialized on the clerics. So I had to create the gods, and then it just snowballed. Now I have ten sentient species, one language with a smattering of words for two others, history, mythology, characters, flora and fauna, etc.
PLUS!!
I'm anal retentive. So when I get on a subject I have to figure it out right down to the last detail. Hence why I figured out that my planet has 4.4 earth years to one Ariunnbith year. (Time is measured in eights, 80 seconds in a minute, 80 minutes in an hour, 40 hours in a day, 8 days in a week, 8 weeks in a cycle, 8 cycles in a year).
See, anal.
So when I started this crack fic (it still has no name and will remain nameless until I'm almost finished the fucker) I didn't really think it was going to be all that big. I've been having the idea for years. One of my rp characters get crossed over with SPN, and boom goes the dynamite.
Shamless playing at my expense, especially in the beginning of the fandom. And then Castiel came along and the whole world squeed and I rejoiced and started playing.
In essence one night I was bored out of my mind, my writing buddy wasn't on (hadn't been on in months but. . . moving on) and I wanted to rewrite a fic we'd written, but from a different perspective.
So I dicked around with the first post, added Sam, Dean and Cas, and went from there. And it turned out... nice.
And then it took on a life of it's own. I didn't start an outline until I had what was in my head written. It's only now that I have an outline to go off from, and the only reason that made it into a list is because
taufu wanted to see it. Even then, there are sections where it says, 'plot goes here' 'some porn here' "more plot should go here" and so on. Just because I hate plotting every moment. Right now I'm working on part two of the crack fic. I've started a new file, my goal is once again, 10k for this part. I'm also setting up a One note for it. I have character pages which are going to include bio and characterization information, odd thoughts, and music that's inspired by the characters. I have mythology pages for the angels and the demons, Kripke's and a broken verson of
railen's, just adjusted slightly to fit with Kripke's. Then there's going to be my mythology for Aruinnbith and God, and plot ideas. Basically it's either going to be epically awesome, or one gigantic time waster. Thankfully, I have started the next part. I've got 457 words written in it (it's been so fucking hot today it's not fit, I'm amazed I got that written). So, if nothing else my brain seems to know what priorites to listen to.
